My new normal

We all have this perception of what is normal, we have our normal work days, our normal routines but i realise normal is so relative to where we live, what our societies teach us, and what our families instill in us...

My blog posts have slowed right down these past few months. I wondered why this is then I realised, that throughout this year I have blogged about the new, the quirky, learning moments, cultural challenges and experiences and while there are still many lessons, cultural experiences and challenges they no longer seem new or unusual. I realise that Arusha Tanzania has become my home, it has become my normal.

Normal for me these days is dusty roads and dirty feet, people staring and calling out "Mzungu", being approached by strangers and asked about my marital status, for my number, for money, asked where I’m from and where I’m going. Overpacked hot and cheap dala rides, little

people running at me calling out “Teacher Rachel,” beggars, praying for strangers, having the title of missionary, Swahili lessons, Swahili greetings, living in community, missionary clothing, shopping at the markets, teaching Tanzanian children who answer my questions in Swahili, ask for things in Swahili and tell me their problems in Swahili! Double taking when I see another “Mzungu” especially on the dala, kids following me down the road. I now hardly blink twice when I see a man pushing a trailer down the road, or a motorbike carrying a couch, and live chickens in the dala.

Just like in NZ I have my weekly routine of teaching Monday-Friday, hanging out with friends in the weekend. We go shopping, we take turns cooking, we eat, we sleep, we have good days and bad day! I remember being in awe of missionaries but now I see that it’s not all that different and that wherever we are is our mission field. While I have gotten comfortable here I think it will hit me how extremely different my life has been here and in what ways this year has changed me and grown me when I return home. What has been “normal” my whole life will no longer feel so normal.

From little things like carpet under my feet, wearing jandels and not coming home covered in dust, driving myself around at any time of day or night, the price of vegetables and cost of eating out! Catching up with people I haven’t seen in a year and it will probably feel as if I never left. Going into a giant supermarket with so many options! Then also big things like everyone understanding me all the time! No language barriers, I am literally going to miss Swahili though! Also walking down the street and just being "normal" no one will be yelling out at me, asking me for my number, calling me Mzungu, staring like I’m from some mystical planet, asking me for money, wanting me to catch their bus!

Its crazy to think that these things have become my normal! And what was my normal will seem so strange. 

This year has been one of the most fun, challenging, rewarding, confidence and character building years of my life. When I first came, I felt so anxious going anywhere by myself. I felt overwhelmed by the attention we receive for being white, I worried so much about how to greet people and felt frustrated when I didn’t understand what people were asking me or saying about me! If I think back to when I first came small things like going on the dala seemed like huge accomplishments and greeting people in Swahili was a pat on the back moment. Now sometimes I just practice my swahili simply to make people laugh and smile. The other day I told the dala driver “si mzungu ninitwa Rachel” (I’m not mzungu I am called Rachel) which made everyone on the dala laugh but also meant I didn’t hear “mzungu” for the rest of the dala ride! Now I literally catch dalas all the time and when I go to visit my friend Lillia on the other side of town I even catch two dala’s walk 20 minutes and then ride a piki!

 I placed so many expectations and rules on myself in the beginning and I didn’t know how to respond to unwanted male attention. Now I walk to my swahili lesson with confidence and cross roads like a local. Around here if you hesitate crossing roads you will never get across that road haha! I have gotten really good at standing up for myself each time getting more straight up and direct. The other day I told a tourism guy who asked to meet for a drink “mimi missionary I’m not here to go on lots of dates, I am here to do Gods work” I would never say something like that back home. He then responded by saying that he is the lost sheep, hahaha.

There is a freedom that comes living in a new place a freedom to talk about God, to pray for strangers and to meet and befriend new people. I hope this same freedom stays with me when I am back on NZ soil, because God is literally the best thing that has ever happened to me and by not sharing him with others I am literally robbing them of the most purposeful, enriching, character developing life possible.

And while teaching here is so incredibly different to home it also has become my normal.

Things that happen here that I have never experienced teaching in NZ are things like kids missing school because they can’t afford school fees, not being able to help kids with their problems because I don’t understand what they are saying, and not being able to talk to parents because of language barriers, kids being fascinated by my hair, arm hairs and skin, they literally stroke me like I’m a cat lol. Not having to sunscreen 30 children every time they go outside during hot season is a definite bonus! and I never have to remind them to wear their hats either! Choosing books and realising how many are culturally irrelevant like stories about snow, santa, even the beach! Having someone translate my teaching and then translate what the kids are saying in response to a question I asked.

Kids here do not have heaps of toys at home to play with, so I am having to teach them to share which is a universal concept for children but here it’s not because they are used to having everything but rather because they are used to having hardly anything and therefore get possessive over things.

But just like teaching in NZ, some days are so frustrating and other days I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else doing anything else. There are kids who are eager to please and those who push the boundaries, those who struggle and those who are miles ahead! Children everywhere want affirmation and love! Each day they run to me and greet me with a hug and then fight for the position ofsitting next to me on the mat. I literally am going to miss all the kids I’ve had the privilege of teaching this year and I still miss the kids I taught at Lilliput in NZ. I take that as a sign I chose the right career.

I am beginning to feel so many mixed emotions about returning home. Sometimes I think of all the things I miss; friends, family, the beach, understanding the culture, and the cleanness of NZ, driving and freedom to go anywhere anytime, to shallow things like takeaways and shopping malls. Then other times I am literally willing time to slow down, I get FOMO when anyway in the team talks about next year. I almost cried when I realised that the last day I’ll see my friend Lillia is the 4^th of December as she heads away on holiday. There are so many amazing people I have had the privilege of calling friends and family this year. Farewells are bittersweet but Gods plans are incredible. See you in just over a month New Zealand! 

#TIA This is Africa!

Ever since I decided to stay the whole year I keep having these “wow I actually live in Africa!” moments. A lot of the time it feels so normal especially because I live with Emma a kiwi and

Rebecca another kiwi who stays with us often and soon an Australian too (lets be honest aussies and kiwis are not all that different) and my neighbors are kiwis (Jan and Rod, Lynda and Allen, Joanna). But then we leave the gates of our compound and suddenly it becomes very real that I live in a culture completely different to my own!

For starters we can’t go anywhere without people staring and saying “wazungu” (white people). We can never just blend in with the crowds here! It’s also strange to live in a place where my first language is the locals second language and where many people don’t speak my language at all! It’s good motivation to learn Swahili and I am having weekly lessons with Mama Louis.

There are so many things in New Zealand that I take for granted. Like drinking out of the tap! We have to filter all our water in a bucket filter, or buy bottled water.
 Also being able to get in my car and go anywhere at any time (well not quite anytime! Restricted licence curfew! haha). Here I hardly go anywhere by myself! This is partly to do with the communication barrier. The few dala dala trips I have taken have been interesting! I’ve had to write down how to say where I want to stop before I leave. But also for safety reasons. And even if I could afford to have a car, I have no desire to drive here. Road rules are more of a suggestion, round abouts and intersection rules are basically the pushiest car goes first, and passing gaps seem to be incredibly small! If that’s not bad enough sometimes you get fined simply because a police officer wants “soda money” apparently you can get fines for your car being too dirty even!

We can’t go anywhere without being confronted with the reality of poverty whether it be beggars, street kids, village kids, or recently a guy came up to me and begged me for my water. There are so many things here that literally break your heart.

I have to always be aware of what I am wearing. It’s disrespectful to show your knees here and tight pants are a no go. So my wardrobe now consists of long skirts and harem pants. Most of the time I don’t mind but sometimes I just want to where whatever I want to! You definitely cannot afford to be fussy here. I have used squat toilets I would never dream of using in New Zealand and eaten more rice than you could imagine as well as other things I probably wouldn’t eat back home.

And don’t even get me started on shopping here. If you think New Zealand retailers are pushy try shopping in a town where you literally get bombarded with people trying to sell you things, or begging you to look in their shop. It has its upsides though, when shopping in the second hand market we had three guys digging through all the clothes to find me skirts and dresses that I liked. There were MANY that I didn’t like but they didn’t stop looking for me.  When we eventually found a few I liked they brought me a mirror to look in and told me that it made me look like Kim K (I can definitely see the resemblance) hahaha. Fruit and vege shopping is the same deal you constantly hear “sister, tomatoes, sister zucchinis, sister mangoes” I actually love shopping here though it’s always amusing!

You also cannot go anywhere without greeting people and it always more than just a hi. Which is actually really nice but if you’re in a hurry, busting to go toilet or in a bad mood sometimes it’s hard to do the whole greeting back and forward deal haha.

Despite all of these quirky and challenging things I love it here. I love that no one really cares what you wear and about having the latest fashion! I love going to the crazy busy markets with Emma to buy our food. I love the amusing shopping experiences and feel such a sense of accomplishment any time I communicate anything in Swahili. I love being greeted everywhere I go and chatting with and making connections with the locals. I love the slower pace of life and that it’s not all about squeezing more into your day. I love being swarmed by village kids in Magugu and teaching the kids in class one where I teaching and mentoring. I love the landscape and travelling places and all the interesting and quirky things you see out the bus or car windows; like the lady with a whole pile of socks on her head, the lady bathing fully clothed in the river, people sleeping in strange places, kids in the middle of nowhere walking to school, Maassai men with their cattle and even better seeing Zebras and Giraffes on the side of the road!

 But most of all I love living in a community of people who are passionate about God, where God is the priority he’s everything! If anyone ever doubts Gods existence come to Africa and go out on outreach with Rod, Jan, Emma and Simon and see how God heals people. People cannot fake being healed especially when they don’t even believe God can heal them until He does! The spiritual realm is very real here people literally are held captive and God literally sets them free. My faith grows every day that I live here.

Then there is the practical outworking of God’s love here through providing children with quality education. Yesterday I was talking to Wendy and Archbold about the education system. They explained that if people don’t pass form 4 they cannot repeat that year they then are very limited to what career they can choose and people are placed in universities based on their results. So there is a lot of pressure for people to be educated and to pass exams! It could be the difference between living in poverty or not. But the sad thing is there are many places here that offer education but it’s not quality. I am realising more and more the importance of education and my passion for teaching is growing. I love being a part of something bigger than myself!

 

It’s hard to imagine all these things until you have been here and experienced them, but I definitely recommend visiting a third world country at some point in your life.