My new normal

We all have this perception of what is normal, we have our normal work days, our normal routines but i realise normal is so relative to where we live, what our societies teach us, and what our families instill in us...

My blog posts have slowed right down these past few months. I wondered why this is then I realised, that throughout this year I have blogged about the new, the quirky, learning moments, cultural challenges and experiences and while there are still many lessons, cultural experiences and challenges they no longer seem new or unusual. I realise that Arusha Tanzania has become my home, it has become my normal.

Normal for me these days is dusty roads and dirty feet, people staring and calling out "Mzungu", being approached by strangers and asked about my marital status, for my number, for money, asked where I’m from and where I’m going. Overpacked hot and cheap dala rides, little

people running at me calling out “Teacher Rachel,” beggars, praying for strangers, having the title of missionary, Swahili lessons, Swahili greetings, living in community, missionary clothing, shopping at the markets, teaching Tanzanian children who answer my questions in Swahili, ask for things in Swahili and tell me their problems in Swahili! Double taking when I see another “Mzungu” especially on the dala, kids following me down the road. I now hardly blink twice when I see a man pushing a trailer down the road, or a motorbike carrying a couch, and live chickens in the dala.

Just like in NZ I have my weekly routine of teaching Monday-Friday, hanging out with friends in the weekend. We go shopping, we take turns cooking, we eat, we sleep, we have good days and bad day! I remember being in awe of missionaries but now I see that it’s not all that different and that wherever we are is our mission field. While I have gotten comfortable here I think it will hit me how extremely different my life has been here and in what ways this year has changed me and grown me when I return home. What has been “normal” my whole life will no longer feel so normal.

From little things like carpet under my feet, wearing jandels and not coming home covered in dust, driving myself around at any time of day or night, the price of vegetables and cost of eating out! Catching up with people I haven’t seen in a year and it will probably feel as if I never left. Going into a giant supermarket with so many options! Then also big things like everyone understanding me all the time! No language barriers, I am literally going to miss Swahili though! Also walking down the street and just being "normal" no one will be yelling out at me, asking me for my number, calling me Mzungu, staring like I’m from some mystical planet, asking me for money, wanting me to catch their bus!

Its crazy to think that these things have become my normal! And what was my normal will seem so strange. 

This year has been one of the most fun, challenging, rewarding, confidence and character building years of my life. When I first came, I felt so anxious going anywhere by myself. I felt overwhelmed by the attention we receive for being white, I worried so much about how to greet people and felt frustrated when I didn’t understand what people were asking me or saying about me! If I think back to when I first came small things like going on the dala seemed like huge accomplishments and greeting people in Swahili was a pat on the back moment. Now sometimes I just practice my swahili simply to make people laugh and smile. The other day I told the dala driver “si mzungu ninitwa Rachel” (I’m not mzungu I am called Rachel) which made everyone on the dala laugh but also meant I didn’t hear “mzungu” for the rest of the dala ride! Now I literally catch dalas all the time and when I go to visit my friend Lillia on the other side of town I even catch two dala’s walk 20 minutes and then ride a piki!

 I placed so many expectations and rules on myself in the beginning and I didn’t know how to respond to unwanted male attention. Now I walk to my swahili lesson with confidence and cross roads like a local. Around here if you hesitate crossing roads you will never get across that road haha! I have gotten really good at standing up for myself each time getting more straight up and direct. The other day I told a tourism guy who asked to meet for a drink “mimi missionary I’m not here to go on lots of dates, I am here to do Gods work” I would never say something like that back home. He then responded by saying that he is the lost sheep, hahaha.

There is a freedom that comes living in a new place a freedom to talk about God, to pray for strangers and to meet and befriend new people. I hope this same freedom stays with me when I am back on NZ soil, because God is literally the best thing that has ever happened to me and by not sharing him with others I am literally robbing them of the most purposeful, enriching, character developing life possible.

And while teaching here is so incredibly different to home it also has become my normal.

Things that happen here that I have never experienced teaching in NZ are things like kids missing school because they can’t afford school fees, not being able to help kids with their problems because I don’t understand what they are saying, and not being able to talk to parents because of language barriers, kids being fascinated by my hair, arm hairs and skin, they literally stroke me like I’m a cat lol. Not having to sunscreen 30 children every time they go outside during hot season is a definite bonus! and I never have to remind them to wear their hats either! Choosing books and realising how many are culturally irrelevant like stories about snow, santa, even the beach! Having someone translate my teaching and then translate what the kids are saying in response to a question I asked.

Kids here do not have heaps of toys at home to play with, so I am having to teach them to share which is a universal concept for children but here it’s not because they are used to having everything but rather because they are used to having hardly anything and therefore get possessive over things.

But just like teaching in NZ, some days are so frustrating and other days I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else doing anything else. There are kids who are eager to please and those who push the boundaries, those who struggle and those who are miles ahead! Children everywhere want affirmation and love! Each day they run to me and greet me with a hug and then fight for the position ofsitting next to me on the mat. I literally am going to miss all the kids I’ve had the privilege of teaching this year and I still miss the kids I taught at Lilliput in NZ. I take that as a sign I chose the right career.

I am beginning to feel so many mixed emotions about returning home. Sometimes I think of all the things I miss; friends, family, the beach, understanding the culture, and the cleanness of NZ, driving and freedom to go anywhere anytime, to shallow things like takeaways and shopping malls. Then other times I am literally willing time to slow down, I get FOMO when anyway in the team talks about next year. I almost cried when I realised that the last day I’ll see my friend Lillia is the 4^th of December as she heads away on holiday. There are so many amazing people I have had the privilege of calling friends and family this year. Farewells are bittersweet but Gods plans are incredible. See you in just over a month New Zealand!